Rachel Khona is our resident Men’s Lifestyle editor where she brings more than 10 years of editorial experience writing, reviewing, and recommending dating and sex advice for just about everyone. Rachel’s articles can be found on major publications like Maxim, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Bustle, Style Caster, Playboy, Penthouse and more.
Ah, the delicate dance of the first date. One misstep can lead to a curtain call on your rendez-vous. Guys, listen up because we’re about to let you in on the Ten Commandments of first-date behavior. These include cardinal sins, unforgivable errors, and the absolute don’ts, that if committed, will leave you standing alone at the end of the evening with nothing to hold onto other than your regret and tears. So, steel your nerves and get ready to learn the Ten Commandments of first-dates. Heed our lessons, and you may just secure that second date.
10 DON'TS & DO'S
Don't Talk About Yourself the Entire Time
LISTEN TOO!
Save the monologue for acting class, Romeo. The art of conversation is a balance between two people, not open mic night at the comedy club. Your date doesn’t want to listen to you drone on about how amazing you are. In addition to learning about you, they would also like you to express interest in them. Get curious about their life and let the conversation flow organically. Who knows, maybe they have a hidden talent for tap dancing or love collecting pens from around the world.
Don't Pick a Bar Right Next to Your Place
WE SEE YOU
Sure, picking a bar that’s basically your next-door neighbor is convenient. But this move is as subtle as wearing a neon sign that says, “I want to bone you and I’m too lazy to go anywhere that isn’t near me.” Not exactly the move that’s going to turn them on. So spread your wings, Cassanova. Be a gentleman and find a spot halfway or near them. Perhaps you’ll discover a new favorite spot away from the safe cocoon of home.
Don't Offer Advice On Their Personal Life
FOR REAL
They’re telling you about their family and career, and next thing you know, you’re channeling your inner Dr. Phil, doling out advice like a life coach. Giving unsolicited advice to someone you barely know is like trying to fix a clogged toilet with a hammer – foolish and not likely to end well. Your date isn’t looking for a therapist; they’re looking for a romantic spark. Empathy and good listening skills are your friends when someone is giving you a glimpse into their life. Stick to silly childhood stories and whether or not pineapple on pizza is sacrilege. Your date should appreciate your charm and wit and not your counseling skills.
Don't Talk About Your Ex
PLEASE TRY
Talking about your ex is up there with talking about your collection of underwear with holes – it’s awkward, and no one wants to know. Your date isn’t interested in your connection with your ex; they’re interested in your connection with them. They don’t want to hear that your ex is crazy or psycho; they’re likely to wonder what you did to make them act that way. No one wants to feel that their date is hung up on a former flame, either negatively or wistfully. Leave the ex-files closed and watch the conversation flow smoother than a freshly poured drink. Trust, your date will thank you for keeping the spotlight where it belongs—on the two of you, right here and now.
Stop Future Talking
UNLESS YOU'RE A LEGIT PSYCHIC
Don't Show Up Sloppy
JOE
Only Beyonce can say “I woke up like this.” The rest of us mere mortals must put some effort into our look, particularly on a date. Your date isn’t expecting Jason Momoa but they are expecting you to be neat, clean, and occasion-appropriate and not like you just left the gym. You want to say, “I’m there to impress” not “I just rolled out of bed.” And don’t forget when you look good, you feel good.
Do Not Keep Checking Your Phone
PUT IT AWAY
Do Not Arrive Late
PLAN AHEAD
DO Have a Backup Plan
you never know
Do Not Make Any Sexual Suggestions
NO, REALLY
The drinks and the convo are flowing like a lazy river on a summer day when suddenly you decide now is the perfect time to let them know you like one of their naughty bits. Abort mission! Unless you’re both there for a one-nighter, it’s best to leave the sexy talk for another time. Instead of veering into steamy territory, keep things light and playful. Share stories, crack jokes, and let the chemistry simmer naturally. There will be plenty of time for naughty banter down the road, but for now, let’s keep it PG.
