The Super Bowl is right around the corner and regardless of which team you’re rooting for, you’re likely to go to some Super Bowl party and you’re guaranteed to run into these 7 most annoying people:
1. The ‘I’m Just Here for the Commercials’ Guy:
This person is the worst. A few years ago, not so bad…you know, when the best commercials weren’t leaked on the Internet and shared on Facebook by every mother on earth for a full week before the Superbowl. I mean, you’ve seen the commercial already. You’ve already been told what time it will be on, how much it cost, where it was shot and what went into it. They may have even had a 60 Minutes special the prior week on the friggin commercial. But no, this person will tell you OVER and OVER again how much (s)he, but really SHE, doesn’t care about football and is just here for the commercials. How many times do you have to see a commercial? Is it different because it’s on a tv and not your computer? Try to act less like you live in a flyover state for one night.
2. The ‘Prop Bet’ Guy:
Listen buddy, we all know that there are really strange and exotic wagers you can put on the Superbowl. But honestly, stop telling everybody what bet did or didn’t hit because the head coach was shown wearing black shoes instead of blue ones. It’s just annoying. Especially so because there’s about a 90% chance this gamblesaurus has about $15.00 of total action going on the game. He’s just going to be the “gambling guy” all night and tell people what weird bets he didn’t take.
3. The ‘Over the Top Squares’ Person:
These people are among the worst. They are in so many Superbowl squares they don’t even know what to do with themselves. They’re constantly doing math, they’re constantly telling you how much they’re going to win even though there is 13 minutes left in the quarter and there’s a 0% chance that the score will hold for that long. The worst part is when they’re a full digit off of the final score they’re going to act like they were close. I mean, you weren’t close because a 9 is a horrible square number compared to the 8 or the 0 that won, but whatever makes it a better story for you.
4. The ‘Bad Food’ Contributor:
Listen lady, your dip sucks. That’s why nobody’s eating it. Stop throwing it in our faces. You can tell what’s good or isn’t good at a Superbowl party within minutes of the food going out. If it gets inhaled it’s good. If it’s there for longer than 5 minutes after being put out and the game hasn’t really started yet, it probably sucks. No matter how many times you offer it up to people they’re not gonna eat it honey. It’s not good. Stop.
5. The ‘Superstitious One’:
Stop me if you’re heard this one. Team you’re all rooting for scores a touchdown and is doing well. Somebody changes a seat, other team does something remotely good. Boom! The superstitious guy tells everybody to get back to where they were and don’t move ever again. The. Worst. Person. Ever. There’s a good chance I moved because I didn’t want to be near the person who’s annoying the shit out of me. There’s a good chance I’m sitting next to the Superbowl Commercial person or the Superbowl Squares guy. I’m not sitting back in that seat just because the other team made a play. It doesn’t make sense.
6. The ‘I Don’t Know Anything About Football’ Person:
We get it. You don’t know anything about football. That’s ok – nobody cares. We’re not here to talk to specifically you about the game. But you know you don’t have to keep telling everybody that you know nothing about football. I’ll answer your stupid questions, but again, yeah I get it – you don’t know anything about football. You’ve told everybody this 8 times already. It was cute when you were like 14 and you didn’t know anything about football and laughed about it, but you’re 40 now. Stop acting like it’s a badge of honor. Its annoying. Stop.
7. The ‘Please Don’t Yell So Much’ Parent:
Look, football fans yell at football games. The Superbowl is kind of important. If you want some really great conversation, this may not be the day to get it. Stop telling me to be quiet. Go in the other room and chat. Oh wait, nobody else wants to have a therapy session – just you. You’re brutal. Oh and if your kid “gets scared” because somebody yelled, you should start yelling more in your house. It’s weird if you don’t yell. Isn’t it?