Stuff Guys Dig

Greetings and Salutations! 16 Quotes From Heathers

If you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission. Learn more about our review process.

As Cady Heron once said, “It’s October 3rd.”  In order to celebrate October 3rd the right way, we’re going to throw it way  back to the original Mean Girls and the movie that paved the way for the meanest of girls with the darkest of hearts…”Heathers.”  Here are 16 quotes that sum up the dark comedy and cult classic from 1988…Because way before there were “Plastics,” there were “Heathers”

  1. Kurt’s Dad: My son’s a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.

  2. Heather Duke: I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad every time I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.

  3. Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.

  4. Veronica Sawyer: How very.

  5. Student: Did you hear? School’s canceled today ‘cause Kurt & Ram killed themselves in a repressed, homosexual, suicide pact.

  6. Veronica Sawyer: This isn’t just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.

  7. Veronica Sawyer: She’s my best friend. God, I hate her.

  8. Heather Chandler: Grow up Heather, bulimia’s so ’87.

  9. Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.                                             Veronica Sawyer: Yeah? I just got back.

  10. Heather McNamara: It’s your turn Heather.                                               Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it’s Heather’s turn. Heather?                          Heather Duke: Sorry Heather

  11. Veronica Sawyer: Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

  12. Veronica Sawyer:  What’s your damage, Heather?

  13. Father Ripper: We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it’s Jesus Christ, and he’s in the Book.

  14. Ram: (praying at Heather Chandler’s funeral) Jesus, God in heaven, why’d you have to kill such hot snatch? It’s a joke, man. Geez, people are so serious. Holy Mary pray for our sinners, so we don’t get caught.

  15. Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there.  Heather McNamara: Yeah, where’s your urge to purge?

  16. Principal: Now I’ve seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets.