…because measles or not, our Facebook friends are getting into some pretty heated debates about vaccinating their kids and, well, here’s what the rest of us are really thinking.
1. Oh look, suddenly Bonnie is an Infectious Diseases expert! Odd, since she threw up on herself after 3 glasses of white zin and a quick spin on her son’s scooter down the front stairs last Saturday night.
2. Seems like a lot of moms are fighting about this. Where are all the dads? Oh yeah. Porn.
3. Is measles like chicken pox for the poor? Which one did Marsha Brady have?
4. Who needs vaccinations anyway? Let’s bring back some of those cool Oregon Trail diseases. Dysentery for 1, please!
5. We can all blame high fructose corn syrup for this, amiright?
6. I’m pretty sure that mom who’s putting up the biggest stink about not vaccinating their kid is the same one I saw sneaking cigarettes in her last trimester.
7. I mean, I’m just on Facebook for the cat memes.
8. To be honest, I have no idea what vaccines I currently have in my body. Plus, I’m pretty sure two decades of crushing beers can kill pretty much anything.
9. So it’s whoever fights about this the most is the one who loves their kids more, right?
10. You know who I bet is behind this? ISIS.
11. Wait, so possible autism is worse than possible death?
12. Wow so Jenny McCarthy is either reeaaalllly smart or reeaaalllly dumb, no?
13. I don’t get the big deal. The people who came to this country on the Mayflower didn’t have vaccines and they lived until, what, like 22? #HappyThanksgiving
14. Is it just me or does everyone first read “vaccine” as “vacuum?”
15. Yeeeaaah, soooo, I’m just trying to keep my fish alive. And it’s not looking too good.
16. And no one seems to think that injecting your face with needles full of poison can cause anything bad?
17. And this is what happens when every kid gets a trophy.
The More You Know…
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