There is nothing quite like sitting down and having a stranger bring you food and drink and then take it away when you are done.

However, there are a few annoying things that NEED to go.

#9. Taking your plate away when you aren’t finish

#8. Telling you the specials (really long and complicated specials) when you already know what you’re ordering and you just want food in your belly.

#7. Asking if you want soup or salad but saying it really fast?  It sounds like you’re saying super salad and yes that’s exactly what I want.

#6. When they sit down next to you or kneel at the table.

#5.  When they disappear for like 20 minutes.

#4.  When they tell you their name.  Sorry, I won’t remember in 2 minutes.

#3   Asking “Any room for dessert?”  There is something very disconcerting about that question.  Too Scientific for my liking.

#2   Asking if you need change?  Yes, I need change.  Always assume I need change.

#1.  Them being replaced by an IPad.

Also, Please don’t spit in my food.  This was all in good fun.