Lock up the knives in your kitchen drawer because it’s been reported that serial killer, Charles Manson, is tying the knot next month. I’m going to give you a second for that to sink in. No really, I’ll wait. Go pour yourself a drink. I’m a 12 pack deep right now.
Evidently, Manson got a marriage license to wed some rusted out dumpster who visits him in the slammer on the regular. Who’s the bride, you ask? She goes by the name “Star Burton” and over 9 years ago she moved to California to be closer to her man. Apparently she also runs a few Manson “fan” sites so in case you’re keeping track she’s getting married and is a business woman…and you’re just a simple spinster watching Real Housewives of Beverly Vanderpump Rules Real World the Gauntlet and drinking Zima out of mason jars. I don’t judge. I do the same thing but with Coors Light.
Last year “Star” told Rolling Stone Magazine,
I’ll tell you straight up, Charlie and I are going to get married. When that will be, we don’t know. But I take it very seriously. Charlie is my husband.”
Something about seeing two crazies in love really melts my heart. Since the prison holds marriage ceremonies the first Saturday of every month (in the visiting room…puke) there’s a shot that the wedding may take place as early as December 6, 2014. In case you’re struggling with what to get the blushing bride, perhaps some of these gift ideas will tickle your fancy: