What is the point of purchasing a $500 phone the second it is released to the “didn’t even know I needed it” consumerist culture we call our own if all it does it give us instant access to our Facebook? There is nothing more deflating than admitting all those swipes are to find a quick, er, relationship on Tinder or lurk about on Instagram. So this Christmas why not spend a buck or two to purchase one of the following Apps that will turn you into a corporate baller every second of every day (or at least every 10 seconds based on your notifications and push preferences!)…at least as far as your colleagues are concerned.
Don’t just sit in Monday’s strategy meeting staring at your silent phone. Make it ring. Fake an incoming call as often as you want and from such notables as your wife, your best friends, or one of the featured celebrities. Each session is just like a real call with fully functional phone buttons pulling content from one of 9 scripts and giving you access to 9 voices. The best part? There is an in-App purchase allowing you to purchase more scripts and more voices. Expand your business network on cue!
Don’t miss a status update just because you are supposed to be preparing the Q4 sales returns for an upcoming conference. Download HardlyWork.in, sign in with Facebook, accept a few turns, and see your Facebook news feed instantly turn into a non-descript tabled spreadsheet. Take that FY ROI!
Why not create entire text conversations from an industry mover and shaker? Did you create a story casting you as the central character? Did you sort of tell your next cube neighbor that the boss gave you permission? Why not show the proof? Generate a fake text conversation with the Fake – A – Text app. The App is so thorough it sends a notification when the fake text arrives and vibrates the iPhone when the text arrives. The best part? You can schedule fake texts as often as you like.
Nothing says “I am important” quite like an App called “I Am Important.” This App lets you add fake contacts and fake events so your schedule fills up unusually fast. The fake contacts are pre-designed and project the idea of being highly important, highly paid business people. You can then add fake events to your calendar to look busier than the schmuck next to you.
1. Play Dead
The one sure sign of your phone being as busy as you are is a dead battery. But who has time for the battery to actually go dead? Just fire up the Play Dead App for iPhone, show your team mate the spinner on your display screen and tell them how busy you’ve been and how your battery is almost dead already! With this robust App you can even adjust the length of time the spinner is visible before the screen goes black to show a dead device.
Read more from Drew on his blog